Me. At least after what I've been through.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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