Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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