is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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