they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
