I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
