BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
