so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
