Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
