There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
In America we eat man semen.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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