Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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