Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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