Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
