I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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