i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
