Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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