Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So many bounce houses so little time
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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