Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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