Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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