dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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