just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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