i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
