Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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