Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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