Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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