peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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