i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Holy shit dude........stairs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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