So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
