No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
