I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
