The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need to calm my uterus...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
