wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
