remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
