I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
