I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
