Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
