Please, let me fuck your mom
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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