At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
