He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
