Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
