yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
