Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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