So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
