I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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