We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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