About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
