Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
