The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
