I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
