I wanna bring you to show and tell
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
