pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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