Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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